morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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