If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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