We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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