hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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