This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
don't judge my taste in strippers
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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