if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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