atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
