yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
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couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
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The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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