Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
