I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
