Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
