i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize