she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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