is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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