If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
