from now on my penis is your penis
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Randomize
