Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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