she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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