All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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