Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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