My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
