Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
