I think i peed on brittanys purse
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
