Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm both gender and math confused
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