omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
