This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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