is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?