if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
