I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
