And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.