Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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