Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!