He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize