i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just tell him i said nine months
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
