My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize