Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
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