Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
