His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
