If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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