Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
