It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
