He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
