the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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