I wish I could punch you in the face.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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