Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
