Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
