It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
