pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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