Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
