Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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