Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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