just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
