Bisexual people are plain selfish.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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