just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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