If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
