that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
