I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
is that a dick in a sweater?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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