sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
