worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
