Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
