I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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