Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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