Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
