tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
