I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
